I want a new template! But I can't find one I want and I have no idea how to do html. Oh well maybe I will find one eventually.

So I had a pretty good weekend. I only screamed at my husband and wished for divorce about 3x so I say that was an improvement!

I need some serious help though. I keep thinking about finding someone to replace her. I know she doesn't want me. I still can't figure out why she told me she missed me. Maybe she honestly thought she did. Or maybe she didn't really miss me but missed knowing I would do anything to have her attention. I don't know I have never been able to understand people. I guess that is why I am so thrown when people are actually sincere in their friendships with me, it happens so rarely. And that hurts. I really don't want to care, but I want people to love me and it really hurts when they don't. Especially when I love them. I am working on learning to love myself. I guess if I do that maybe I won't be hurt so much when other people chose to miss out on what I have to offer.

So anyway back to the fact that I want someone to replace her. I think I am addicted to it, sex with another women that is. If I could chose I don't know if it would be her anymore. So I am thinking that so called being inlove with her I felt was just extreme attraction. I do still care about her I always will. But I am ready to move on now.

I am trying to ignore this itch to find someone else. I don't think it is a good idea. But the thoughts just won't go away. I guess this will just have to be one of those day to day things that I have to fight. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please.

2004-06-10 - Bye Bye
2004-06-02 - FAT FUCKING BITCH ( THAT'S ME)
2004-06-01 - ME (YUCK)
2004-05-12 - New house!
2004-04-15 - Good and Bad