It�s not that I am depressed. I don�t want to die. I�m just not happy. I feel like I have wasted my entire life. I feel like I have taken the time given to me and pissed it away. I want to figure out how to make up for lost time. I want to make something of myself. I want to be great at something, something that is mine and mine alone. Maybe that is why I don�t like my husband right now, maybe it isn�t him I don�t like, maybe it is just me I don�t like. I do feel like I am letting him hold me back. I think if I told him that I really, really want to go to school and become more he would be pissed, on many levels. I want more. I don�t want to be the working housewife, I want to be the career women. I want to enjoy and work hard for a career I love. But how do you do that and not lose your family. I don�t want my kids to hate me because I am not around, because I am out building a career.

I just don�t want to feel like a waste.

2004-06-10 - Bye Bye
2004-06-02 - FAT FUCKING BITCH ( THAT'S ME)
2004-06-01 - ME (YUCK)
2004-05-12 - New house!
2004-04-15 - Good and Bad