Well I kinda mentioned the idea of surgery to my husband and the ladies I work with, can we say OH MY GOD! Talk about opposition. I got told how bad of an idea it was, how it is only temporary, how I will just stretch my stomach back out, how I will be in pain, and that the surgery can go bad. I was so depressed, I was thinking if this won�t work then, WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO?, if I can�t do this, then there is nothing out there for me, I will be fat the rest of my life, I won the fuck me genetic lottery. I couldn�t have been Paris Hilton, she won the fabulous genetic lottery. I just don�t know what to do, I had lost 40 pounds and what do you know, I put it, plus some, back on. One of the ladies I work with said I am struggling with my weight because I am not happy with my marriage, that I don�t love my husband the right way, that because I am disappointed in him, I take it out on me. I don�t know, she may be right. I just know that 16 of my 28 years I have been overweight, and 10 of those 16 I have been obese. I don�t want to die of a heart attack at 30. I want to live long enough and be healthy enough to enjoy my kids and their kids and maybe even their kids. God I want some willpower! I am begging, praying, anything, just help me find the strength to be healthy!

2004-06-10 - Bye Bye
2004-06-02 - FAT FUCKING BITCH ( THAT'S ME)
2004-06-01 - ME (YUCK)
2004-05-12 - New house!
2004-04-15 - Good and Bad