I know I should be in bed. Oh well don't want to sleep. I do to much of that as it is.

I got my belly button pierced Thursday. I didn't hurt one little bit. Isn't that just too cool. I am going to get my tongue done one day. That I am sure does hurt. And well I am afraid I will flinch and they will hurt me worse. I know they hold your tongue so that don't happen but you know the mind can play funny little tricks on you, fucking bastard that is and all.

So I am bored right now. I wish someone was online to talk to. Katie just went to bed. And I would really rather talk on the phone. I enjoy that more. It is more personal and I don't know just more fun. But to each his own right.

Sometimes I wish I was British or Austrailian. I love thier accents. They are so much nicer than the stupid southern accent I have. I hate the fucking thing. I think it makes me sound retarded or some shit. Well I can't afford to pay a voice coach so I guess I will deal with what I have.

I kinda got an off to the side, keep it to yourself that I didn't need to worry about losing my job. Thats nice huh. But what the hell good does an unofficial, don't tell anyone I told you this do for me. It is not like a check in the bank or anything. I guess they were just trying to help.

I want a girlfriend. I want some cute little hottie. I don't want to care about her. I just want to fuck her. I don't think I could actually do that. But it is kinda cool to think about... well for all of ten seconds. Until my damn concense rears its ugly head. My husband wounldn't care then either. If I had a girlfriend. If I could fuck her and not care about her it is fine with him. Of course he has to be able to watch and maybe even join in. How fucked up it that. Shit how fucked up am I. I really do want to get laid, just by a women. I can get laid by my hubby any time. I am ready for a new experience. One where I am not druck. And where I won't feel hated the next day. I want the other person to be just as cool as me. Or maybe even a litte more cool. Just sex. No emotional involvement. Is that kinda sex any good? I wouldn't know. I said that was all it was when I had sex with her. I lied. I care about her. And I was extremly attracted to her. I so wish I hadn't been drunk. Because I would like to know if it could be that intense if you aren't. I have had intese sex with my husband. But I don't remember just a touch feeling so electric. to the point what you feel in one finger tip you feel all the way to your toes. Maybe it was the tequila. Hell who knows. And I know I will never know. Because it will never happen again. Not with her. Not with another women. I don't have the guts to do it sober. And I will never do it drunk again. So my one naughty experience and I can't even say I really felt it all.

Oh well I will stop ranting and raving like a nut and go to bed.

Night all.

2004-06-10 - Bye Bye
2004-06-02 - FAT FUCKING BITCH ( THAT'S ME)
2004-06-01 - ME (YUCK)
2004-05-12 - New house!
2004-04-15 - Good and Bad