<- 2003-03-11 * 1:15 p.m. ->
He told me last night that I would be happier without him. That he is the reason I am miserable.
I am not miserable with him. And no I wouldn�t be happier without him. It would be different with someone else but not exactly better.
I hate when he gets that way. He hurts me then feels guilty about it. Instead of learning from the guilt he puts the guilt on me. Like it is my fault he feels guilty. I am sorry if my reaction to pain upsets you. That is the way I am. You have know this about me for 11 years. I have a nature that is not always positive. I can�t always see the color in life. Sometimes I just plain get tired of working to be positive. So when things are bothering me I get quite or loud. I like both. At least I don�t try to make everyone else around me miserable just because I am.
I was thinking this morning that I will just let him go. As a matter of fact I will push him out. I will remove him from my life as much as possible. I will live without him. I don�t want to go through the arguments anymore. I have had enough. The scary thought is I think I could handle that. But I still believe that is the wimpy way out. I refuse to be a wimp, especially when it comes to my family. I will stick this out. Until death.
<- prev * next -> * random
2004-06-10 - Bye Bye
2004-06-02 - FAT FUCKING BITCH ( THAT'S ME)
2004-06-01 - ME (YUCK)
2004-05-12 - New house!
2004-04-15 - Good and Bad