We are friends again right. So why do I feel so empty. I am sitting here wondering again what she really feels. I hate this about me! I hate that I love her and I do I love her and I am going absolutely CRAZY! I think about her all the time, I mean all the time! And I just can't take it. So now I am back again not know what the hell to do. I need to know, So much I need to know. Why did she have to come into my life? What am I supposed to learn from this? I meam they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well I think this is going to kill me. I think I messed up when I said we should start over. Because now I have expectations again and I think they are higher than they should be. It was starting to get easier not thinking about her or missing her so much. Then of course I had to go try and start fresh. What the hell was I thinking. Now I have went and opened myself up to disappointment again. But then they also say nothing ventured nothing gained. So here we go again with the total confussion. God life is such a pain in the ass. I am so sick of these constant questions. I want to take the big step and ask her exactly how she feels. I think no matter how it turns out it would be for the best, because at least I would know and I could move on in what ever direction it leads.

2004-06-10 - Bye Bye
2004-06-02 - FAT FUCKING BITCH ( THAT'S ME)
2004-06-01 - ME (YUCK)
2004-05-12 - New house!
2004-04-15 - Good and Bad