This is what I would say to you if I had the courage to.

Why are you shutting me out?! I do not understand. And it is driving me crazy! If I am not the cause of how you are feeling then why are you punishing me. You won't talk to me, not really. I don't get it. I just don't. I thought we were friends. I am guessing that my definition of friendship must be a little different than yours. I just want to know how you feel about me. The full truth no matter how painful it might be. I just need to know good or bad what you think or if you even think about me. You said you cared about me. You don't do a very good job of showing that. Of course I don't believe that anyone other than my family cares about me. But I am working on that negativety. If I could say anything to you it would be that I miss you and hate that I miss you because I don't want to miss someone who probably doesn't think much about me period.

I read your diary. Went back a couple of months. You don't say much about me. I think that proves that I am not as important to you as you are to me. I blame myself for letting my gaurd down. I didn't want any friends when I met you, I still can't figure out how you got in. I didn't ask to start caring about you to the point of insanity. I hate that I don't regret knowing you. I had alot of fun with you and wish so much that it could still be there. It kills me that you have run away from or turned your back on me it hurts so much that I think I am going to die. I know I won't I know I will move on. One day.I just don't understand why, if it's not me then why can't we still be friends and talk, if it's not me then why did you shut me out!

I hate this and I can't change it!

One day the pain will stop.

2004-06-10 - Bye Bye
2004-06-02 - FAT FUCKING BITCH ( THAT'S ME)
2004-06-01 - ME (YUCK)
2004-05-12 - New house!
2004-04-15 - Good and Bad