So I was okay for about a day. I thought she was slowy moving out of my constant thoughts. I'm thinking now that I was completely wrong. I think about her pretty much every moment I am awake. And most of the time I dream about her too. Although I am getting better at not letting anyone know that she is always in my thoughts. I do want to stop. Mainly because I am more than sure that I am not on her mind ever much less all the time. I hate this because I really have no right to even try to find out if maybe by some remote possibilty that I do cross her mind. I mean it is not like I can ask her to be mine. I already have someone. I do love my husband. But I think about her more. I feel so bad because none of this is fair to anyone in this entire situation. Especially since I have no idea what I want more. I keep trying not to think about her and start thinking only of the person I am married to but so far it hasn't worked. I'm sure she will never call or email me again so I will eventually get over her but the thought of that kinda hurts. I need some serious help. The sad thing is I don't know if I want to be fixed or even consider myself broken.

2004-06-10 - Bye Bye
2004-06-02 - FAT FUCKING BITCH ( THAT'S ME)
2004-06-01 - ME (YUCK)
2004-05-12 - New house!
2004-04-15 - Good and Bad